G.O.A.T. It Is Finished (It Has Only Just Begun)

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It Is Finished. I borrowed those words from Jesus. At the end of this past week of painting, where I painted 575 sq feet of canvas and made 50 paintings in 5 days, I was completely exhausted. I had just one day for all of the paintings to dry and I was up painting until early in the morning. But I had completed my mission. I dubbed this week my G.O.A.T. week. Greatest Of All Time (so far). I took over my brother’s garage and cut up my four rolls of 5’x30′ canvas and painted. And painted and painted. It was a dream come true. I was in my element and I was equipped with more canvas and more paint and more time than I had ever had in my life. I put the music on and just got to work. It was the best week of my life as an artist. At some point during the all of the painting, I realized painting makes me happy to be alive. Painting Makes Me Happy To Be Alive. It makes life worth living. And this week was all about me just doing me. Being as fearless and honest as I was capable of. And I did it. I knew exactly what I was doing, I didn’t need any direction or guidance from anybody. When I paint the way that I like to paint, it’s the one place where I know exactly what to do. I put on the music and feel the energy coming through the speakers flowing into my body travelling into my entire being and coming out of my arm. I look at the cans of paint and feel the energy of the colors and endless combinations and possibilities begin to swirl around and simmer. And then I get the feeling, wow I’d really like to see those two or three colors together. And then I paint them. And then I take a break and I let that painting marinate in my mind and then I think of another color that would look good with the first two, and if I like it better than the current combination I add it. And if I don’t like it better, maybe I still add it. Who’s to say? It’s my artwork and it’s all about me. End of story. I make my art and nobody else’s. I own that and I love it. Having experienced the freedom and joy and immense pleasure of creating as I did this past week, I know I am going to have to do this again. The whole idea for this experience came about a couple weeks ago when I was sitting on the couch reading something on the computer about finding out what it is that we really want to do in life. And I heard a voice inside of me saying “This is what I want.” And I started writing what it said, and this is what it said, ” I want canvases, lots of canvases. Big canvases. And I want colors, lots and lots of colors, endless colors. I want canvases, colors, and I want space. I want enough space to fill the floor with all of the paintings I can possibly do. And I want enough light to see what I am doing.” None of these things I had really allowed myself to have to the extent that I truly desired and deserved. But this time I started thinking to myself, “Ok how can I make this happen?” This is one of the deepest desires of my heart, my true self. Let me honor it and start moving towards it. I remembered a site that a friend had told me about a year or so ago that sold large canvas roles at discounted prices. I found four that I liked and I ordered them, What a coincidence that I would be going to spend a week and a half with my brother and his family in Wyoming in about a month and I would have all of that time to do whatever I wanted. Well I wanted to paint. These days, I am so exhausted from work that I barely have energy to do anything after I get off. I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip by. Next I had to find a place to paint. My brother offered to let me use his 2 car garage while I was down there. Bingo. That means more money to spend on paint. I went to Home Depot at least three times while I was in Wyoming, getting new colors, refilling old colors. Black and white go really quickly. I played music the entire time. This time it was all about the music. All about feeling the music and letting it’s energy guide my arm. My arm would do a different dance depending which music was playing and I realized that the act of painting for me is really about the movement of my arm and hand. It’s about moving to the music. The playlist varied: Sir Mr D, Nero, Mt Eden Dubstep, Korallreven, Light This City, Tatu, even a little reggaeton. Sometimes I would let the whole album play, other times I would have a particular song on repeat until the painting was complete. Whatever felt right. What a great vacation. I know I am going to have to do it again, this was just the beginning. I am just getting started. I just coming into my element. The first time I ever picked up a paintbrush was 3 years ago and look how far I have come. I can’t be sad thinking about lost time, but I could have been doing this years ago. Even a decade ago. Life would have been so much better, but it is what it is and I can and will still reach my goal which is to become the greatest me that I can possibly be. The G.O.A.T.

A few samples from the week…

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More pictures to come.

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One response to “G.O.A.T. It Is Finished (It Has Only Just Begun)

  1. Pingback: SORRY FOR THE WAIT! | Fidel Ernesto Carey-Realmo

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